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Moments when time stops...
I have these moments, when time seems to stop and everything becomes still. Clarity. The creaking of a wooden fence in the wind, the drop of a collected rain drop from a roof - and in the centre I stand, unchanged. All about me rushes to a stop but I come alive, tingling with awareness of myself and my surroundings, yet so very still. Even my breathing seems to stop - or perhaps it gets deeper, without my knowing somehow. I become my body. I am me. Time has ceased and nothing but the sounds and I remain. I realise it all in one moment - without thought. A knowing, simply a feeling. I become aware of my centre, as time flows to a halt, I become only a witness - to myself and the world. So strong in myself that the wind nor the earth can shake me. I stand tall and I become. I am. My ancient self, who has seen a thousand bodies come and go; a thousand lifetimes lived and here I am once more. I imagine this is how Buddhist monks experience their lives; the Buddha or Jesus themselves, perhaps. Is this what it feels like? Yet it lasts but a second or two as everything I've written here rushes through my core as a knowing, an acceptance, a kind of peace - no thoughts are needed, nor do they arise, curiously absent fro me. Just this deep knowing. This being. And once more I'm thrust downward into the lower vibrations of my thoughts. My awareness becomes scattered to a myriad of thoughts, people, noises, not sounds. My head races, preoccupied with the current moment in a way so unlike before - almost fractured, or spread too thinly among focuses. And I lose myself again. I wish for those moments back. I long for that clarity, that supercharged awareness, grounding, centring. I seek them. Some sounds seem more conducive to triggering the moments, like a clock ticking, water dripping or the wind in the trees. I cling to these like an oasis in the desert, but my attachment drives away the very thing I seek. These are moments that come naturally, or not at all. I have come close, however. As though I've reached a level of clarity a few planes below - not quite the enlightened state I long for. I rise, yes, but not unbound to my thoughts or environment. Still fuzzy around the edges, as time has not stopped but merely slowed and become misty, like walking through a dense fog. But every now and then, it comes. A moment. Unbidden... |
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The copyright for this content entitled "Moments when time stops..." has been specified by the contributor as:
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This intel was contributed by rylah
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May, 2012
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